The Most Difficult Challenge!

Ok, so it may not be the most difficult challenge ever, but it sure comes close.

I know it's May, but I forgot to post about this earlier. For Lent, I decided that instead of the boring, generic candy and TV fasts, I would decide to abstain from something just as or even more difficult, but more, ahem, original. Among other little things, I decided to try to give up....wait for it....the word "like."
Before you start laughing at me, think about it.
I don't mean all usages of "like" - just "like" as in the "I-don't-really-know-what-exactly-to-say-and-I'd-rather-not-be-specific-and/or-decisive like". In other words, I was going to attempt to stop talking like this:

"So, I was thinking that we'd like, you know, do that thing where we like go and like buy stuff you know."

And instead talk like this:

"We should go to the store."

Ok, extreme example. The case, however, still stands. People are waaaaaay too inarticulate and vague in their speaking habits.
This poem by Taylor Mali describes this ailment perfectly:

Totally like whatever, you know?

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences — so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally...
I mean absolutely... You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like...
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation... ness
is just a clever sort of... thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since...
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

Alright, so my Lent experiment totally failed and I had to stick with giving up salt (which is HARD). This, however, does not by any means mean that it cannot be done. 

So consider this a challenge. Go one day without using "like", "you know" or "or somethin'." It can be done, and honestly, it should be done. It disciplines the mind, makes one think clearly and creates strong communication where there once was only weak communication - not to mention that it makes one sound 3000 times more intelligent than otherwise. Trust me, it's harder than it seems. 

So from Taylor Mali and myself and thousands of grandmothers and English teachers all over the world:

"SPEAK WITH CONVICTION!!!!"